Today's Review: Confidence
Starring: Edward Burns, Dustin Hoffman
Directed by: James Foley

Rating: 4 (out of 5)

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Ahhhh, the con. The Grift. The Flim-Flam. The Racket. It's been a part of American cinema for eons, ever since Thomas Edison filmed the first-ever Three-Card-Monte game and made a tidy c-note with it at a carnival in Atlantic City...or so my Film teacher led me to believe. Then again, he also told me I'd pass his class, and he lied about that, so what do I know?

But what I do know is true is that the art of the con has been a device of Hollywood for quite a while. From The Sting, to Paper Moon, to that dude who sold Springfield a monorail, the confidence game (as us cool guys refer to it) is as familiar to Tinseltown as cocaine and plastic surgery.

In fact, some films themselves have pulled some pretty impressive cons, like making us wonder who "Rosebud" was, or the last-minute reveal of Keyzer Soze's identity. In 1994, James Cameron released "True Lies" and pulled the grand-pappy of all movie cons when he made us believe that Tom Arnold had talent.

But, as usual, I digress. Let's talk about "Confidence".

The movie opens over the blood-soaked corpse of Jake Vig, played by Edward Burns. In voiceover, he informs us "So I'm dead..." And he is indeed lying lifeless on the pavement. This is a good sign, because in this first, lifeless moment on screen, he's already shown more acting range than in his last 4 pictures combined.

Memo to all you Burns fans: Complain all you want, but anyone who can do a movie with Angelina Jolie and manage to create NO heat or chemistry is not so much an actor as they are an actor-sized mannequin made of meat loaf. Even I could create sexual tension with Angelina Jolie. In face, just sitting here THINKING about her is creating a fair amount of sexual tension.

To be fair, the role of a con-man is perfect for Burns, who wrote, directed, and starred in The Brothers McMullen in 1995, conning millions of people into thinking that he was a talented new voice in cinema.

Back to the movie...so he's dead. He mentions that this might have something to do with a redhead, and suddenly...WHOOSH...we're whisked back in time a good 10 minutes to see Vig on his knees, about to be executed gangland-style by Travis (Morris Chestnut). Then, about 15 seconds later, we're...WHOOSH...whisked back another 3 weeks to see how the whole sordid mess began. All the flashing back in this movie could actually damage the fragile space-time continuum, but such risks are necessary in the name of quality entertainment.

Now we meet a much-livelier and less-blood-soaked Jake, caught in the middle of a con-gone-wrong (by the way, "con-gone-wrong" is as much fun to say as it is to type! Try it!) that involves yet another blood-soaked corpse, a lot of swearing, and loser-ish mob-type accountant. This is where we meet the rest of Jake's crew. There's Gordo (Paul Giamatti), a con-man with some serious issues about bathroom cleanliness, Miles (Brian Van Holt), a con-man whose role is sort of undefined, but might have something to do with having features so sharply-chiselled you can cut yourself on them. You've got the "shill", Big Al (Louis Lombardi), and two crooked LAPD officers (Donal Logue and Luis Guzman).

The con-gone-wrong (Wheee!) actually turns out to be a con-gone-right (This one is less fun to say.) Well, "right" is a subjective term. Some of the money has blood on it. And, slightly more importantly, the money actually belonged to a criminal kingpin, who then has the "Mark" and Big Al murdered. This is very distressing to the crew, especially since good "Shills" are hard to find in this day and age. You wouldn't think so, but YOU try placing a want ad for "Shills" on Monster.com...the few people that wind up responding will be sub-par at best...I assure you.

Rather than waiting around to be murdered, Jake somehow thinks it's best to have a chat with this kingpin - cleverly named "King". On a list of bad decisions, going to visit an angry criminal you've just robbed ranks right up there with "Hey...let's change the formula of Coke!" and "Wow...this MC Hammer guy is a goldmine! Let's sign him to a multi-album deal!" But, for some inexplicable reason, King is just fine with having Jake pop by.

As it turns out, the King is actually a short, psychotic, bisexual Jewish man with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Fortunately, he's played by Dustin Hoffman.

An aside: This proves a theory that I first put forth in high school, which was "Only Dustin Hoffman could ever convincingly portray a short, psychotic, bisexual Jewish man with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder." Oh sure, NOW it looks like I was prescient at the time, but that doesn't take the sting out of getting an F on that particular essay. And to the Film teacher who gave me that grade and flunked me, I will thank you to correct my transcript and send me a copy via registered mail immediately.

Somewhere in the middle of his ramblings, King asks for his money to be returned. Jake says he won't do it, which on the list of bad things to say, is right up there with "Yes, I'll marry you...I'm going to be Mrs. Larry King!" and "Sure I'll invest in Enron...what's the worst that could happen?" Instead, Jake says that his team will work a con scheme for King to get him his money. King, who apparently is in the habit of hiring people that steal from him, agrees, and tells him that his intended target is the mob-financier-and-banker Morgan Price (Robert Forster).

Of course, Jake's crew is one man down, and he needs some manpower, so he brings along King's barely intelligible henchman Lupus (Franky G, who apparently graduated from the "Benicio Del Toro School Of Elocution" Suma Cum Laude). He also needs a new "Shill", so he brings in Lily (Rachel Weisz), whom he finds when she steals his wallet. This is what is commonly referred to as a Recruitment Error, but, like I said earlier, people who respond to the "Shill Wanted" ad on Monster.com are unreliable. So, hiring the girl with the "Chain-Smoking Noir-ish Femme Fatale" ad is probably a passable stopgap solution. I don't know. I'm not a con man.

I kid Edward Burns a lot. Of course, that's because he's generally a bad actor. When teamed with a decent director (Steven Spielberg, or, well, anybody but himself) he's capable of some good work. Fortunately for us, James Foley is a good director, and Burns comes off as believable and even likable in this movie. In fact, almost all of the performances are good: Hoffman could wind up with his gajillionth Oscar nomination, and the always-dependable Giamatti turns in his typically solid performance.

The only real disappointment acting-wise is Andy Garcia, who plays a federal agent that's been on Jake's trail for years. In his few scenes, he's nearly unwatchable. The saving grace is that it's only a few minutes of screen time in total...because he really does suck the energy out of the movie when he's on. It's like Garcia and Burns traded talent with each other.

The direction by Foley is strong as well. He does a good job with the pacing of the film. He's also made some interesting visual choices with some of Burns' narration scenes, which are very effective. The screenplay, by Doug Jung, is smart as well, although it's laced with more profanity than an episode of South Park. Foley's strength as a director seems to be working with lots of swearing and coaxing solid performances out of wooden, uninteresting actors. After all, he directed Mamet's rather profane "Glengarry Glen Ross" and got a fantastic performance out of Alec Baldwin.

An aside: I actually have a theory that Baldwin, Burns, and Bill Pullman are all the same actor. They're all reasonably tall, raspy-voiced, and have the screen presence of bad potato salad. I say put the three of them together in a profanity-laced, James Foley-directed remake of "The Sting". That's the only way any of those three will ever be able to con their way into an Oscar nomination.

As far as the DVD goes, if you're a commentary fan, then this is your lucky day. You have your choice of cast, director, or writer commentary, so by the time you've put in the 6 1/2 hours it will take you to watch all 4 versions of the movie, you'll have learned every conceivable detail about "Confidence" that you could ever want to know. There's also a Sundance Channel special, which is interesting enough, and some music videos. However, do NOT get sucked into the deleted scenes. It's simply several takes of the same pointless scene, in which Dustin Hoffman sizes up some strippers who want to work in his club. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for pointless nudity, but don't put something like this on a DVD and call it "Deleted Scenes". At best, it's a Deleted SCENE - singular - and at worst, you wind up jealous that Dustin Hoffman can get paid millions of dollars to ogle strippers' breasts, while you spend day-in and day-put at the office with a boss who's constantly ON YOUR ASS about stupid, meaningless shit, making, like, TWICE what you are while he takes the f******g credit for all your hard work...

...wow. Sorry about that.

In closing...the DVD is definitely worth a look. And Edward Burns somehow manages to expertly carry the film. Now THAT'S what I call a con!

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