Today's Review: 28 Days Later (DVD)
Starring: Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris
Directed by: Danny Boyle
Rating: 4 out of 5
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The Naked Critic
What is it about low-budget horror films that make them so much better than big
budget ones?
This isn't even a rhetorical question. I'm a big fan of the rhetorical
question. I ask them all the time. "Why me?" is a rhetorical question
I ask at least once a day. (The answer is always either "Because I did
something stupid." Or "Because God hates me.") The other big
rhetorical question I ask a lot is "Who farted?" (The answer is
always, of course, "My boss." Seriously. Ask anyone I work with. The
man must eat an all-legume diet.)
But I digress. I was wondering why low-budget horror films are always so much
better than studio-produced suck-fests like "Wrong Turn." There has
to be a logical explanation.
Let's take "Wrong Turn" as an example, because I still haven't
recovered from that bowl-winder. They had a big studio behind them, at least
one "Name" in the cast, with at least one more well-regarded
character actor in a supporting role, and enough money to make, well, something
watchable.
Then Danny Boyle comes in with a low budget, and churns out a great horror film
like this. It doesn't add up. It can't be the writing, because a studio with
that much money should have been able to pay a team of writers to make
"Wrong Turn" better. Or, at least, re-write "Deliverance"
word for word and go drinking with the money they got paid.
Man...I really hated that movie, didn't I?
Anyway, on to 28 Days Later:
The movie opens with a group of Greenpeace-esque activists entering a lab where
some animal testing is going on. The subjects are a group of monkeys, or
chimps, or whatever. One of them is strapped into a chair, "Clockwork
Orange"-style, and being forced to watch scenes of real-life brutality and
violence on a bank of TV monitors. So I'm guessing they have satellite. It's a
shame too, because if they have satellite, the chimp could have easily switched
the channel to something really good like "Six Feet Under", but, you
know, he's strapped in place and can't reach the remote.
A scientist tries to stop the activists from freeing the animals by saying that
the chimps are infected with something called "Rage". I know how they
feel, man. I was infected with rage after having to waste almost an hour and a
half sitting through "Wrong Turn", and let me tell you...
Oh, sorry.
So these activists, who are probably the dumbest activists alive, decide
"Hmmm...we're in an animal testing lab, and this bloke (Because they're
English, you see...) is telling us that they're infected with something...let's
LET THEM OUT ANYWAY!!!!"
The results? Not pretty, my friends.
So 28 days later, a much wiser, cleaner Gwen (Sandra Bullock) finishes her
stint in rehab...a little older, a lot wiser, and ready to start a new
life.
But meanwhile, in a movie that we actually give a shit about, things aren't
quite so rosy. Jim (Cillian Murphy) wakes up in an abandoned hospital. It
appears that the former bike courier has spent the last several weeks in a coma
after being whacked by a car, and has no idea of the near-apocalypse that's
become of the world. He wanders in a daze through the empty halls of the
hospital, uncomprehending. Fortunately, his muscles haven't weakened during his
coma, so he can do this relatively pain free.
Then he gets out into the city, and sees the barren wasteland that has been
left behind. And this, my friends, is brilliant. The scenes of Jim wandering
through an empty London are truly chilling. I can't imagine what I'd do if I
woke up one day and Toronto was barren.
Ah, who am I kidding? I'd be raiding every DVD and Liquor store I could find
for freebies.
Well, okay, he isn't alone. There are "infected" people everywhere,
just ACHING for a piece of him. They're like zombies, only angrier. The
"infected" spend as much time as possible combing the streets,
looking for non-"infected" to "infect". And they come after
him.
Fortunately, Jim is found by two uninfected people and rescued. Mark (Noah
Huntley) and Selena (Naomie Harris) grab him and take him to a safe place that
they've managed to barricade themselves. They explain to him that whatever this
virus is, it can be transmitted through blood or saliva. One bite, and you're a
zombie within seconds.
An aside: Whoopdie-shit, man. I'm from Toronto. We lived through SARS. SARS,
dammit! Never mind zombies...that shit'll KILL you! Hey...people were walking
around with masks on. Ok, so I never PERSONALLY saw a single, solitary person
wearing a mask...but CNN showed this video of two women wearing masks over and
over, for, like, MONTHS! So, either the city was a hotbed of fatal, infectious
disease, or the media blew it all out of proportion. What's more likely?
We won though, didn't we? Not ONLY did we beat SARS, but we also got the Stones
here AND managed to keep Kelly Clarkson out!
Anyway, back to the movie: the country's been pretty much destroyed by the
virus, and since there's no power or communications any more, they have no idea
what's happening in the rest of the world. (Hey! We suffered through a blackout
too! And we...all right, all right...I'll stop). The only food they have are an
assortment of candy bars and any other non-perishable food items they can
scavenge, although Selena seems to be hoarding an endless supply of product for
her hair.
Eventually, the survivors meet Frank (Brendan Gleeson) and Hannah (Megan
Burns). With the help of a self-powered radio, they catch a transmission from a
military outpost that claims that they have the "answer" to
infection...all they have to do is get there. And from there, my friends,
things get even hairier.
There really is a lot to like about the movie. This is easily Boyle's best work
since "Trainspotting", although I'll admit that's not saying much.
Hey...I sat through "A Life Less Ordinary," okay? I'm qualified to
make that statement.
The bleak look of the film is brilliant. Not only does it add plenty of
atmosphere, but it also makes the "infected" seem even scarier. We
rarely get a really good look at these things, but that's the beauty of them.
All you need to see is their shadows racing through a tunnel toward the
survivors, and the dread becomes palpable.
Performance-wise, the movie is solid as well. Murphy comes off as likable and
believable...part of what makes his stroll through London so effective is the
sheer confusion he exudes...you can relate to him almost immediately. Also
especially good are Gleeson and Burns as the father and daughter. They're
relationship feels very natural.
It's not all chills, either. There are some touching moments, and a few big
laughs as well. There's a great scene where the survivors loot a grocery store
that provides some very well timed laughs.
Maybe the Big Studios can take some lessons from Boyle. But you know as well as
I do that if they do, they'll be all the wrong lessons. As we speak, they're
probably deciding that "Wrong Turn 2" should be shot on handheld
video with a shoestring budget.
I kid of course...there won't be a "Wrong Turn 2". If there is, THEN
you're going to see some "Rage", my friends.
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