Today's Review: Pieces Of April
Starring: Katie Holmes, Patricia Clarkson
Written and Directed by: Peter Hedges
Rating: 3 (out of 5)
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The Naked Critic
Maybe it's my Canadian heritage, but I'll be honest, the whole
"Thanksgiving" thing is a bit of a mystery to me.
Don't get me wrong. We celebrate Thanksgiving too. But we celebrate it in
October. It's basically a day to give thanks "for the harvest". In
essence, the holiday involves being forced to get together with family members
we would normally avoid like the plague, we eat turkey, tell each other where
they went wrong, and then go home, full of stuffing and resent.
So, I guess the only real difference is the month. And we have it on a Sunday
(and Monday to give most of us a day off) instead of a Thursday.
So, when I see movies about Thanksgiving, I'm always a little mystified.
Personally, I don't want to see a movie about a holiday that, to me, means
having most of my family members making snide comments about how I'm such a
bitter disappointment and never lived up to my potential. That's why I sit home
with a box of wine and a turkey TV dinner. It's by choice.
Yes.by choice.that'll work.
The upside is that Americans manage to make some great movies about
Thanksgiving. "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," comes to mind.
And "Pieces Of April" could have been one.but instead, it winds up
being merely a salad course in what could have been a great, Thanksgiving
feast.
By the way, I should have mentioned that today is "Bad Metaphor" Day.
That's even MORE fun that Thanksgiving!
Now keep in mind, this isn't a big, slick Hollywood production like
"Planes." In fact, budget-wise, it's closer to "The Blair Witch
Project." It's shot on digital, and took something like 3 weeks to shoot
from start to finish. Sadly, the script feels like it took 3 weeks to write,
too.
The titular character April is played by Katie Holmes. And, just so you know,
I've been dreaming of using the words "titular" and "Katie
Holmes" in the same sentence for years.
She's a little punky, a little gothy, and she wants nothing more than to make
Thanksgiving dinner for her estranged family. She lives in a tiny apartment in
New York City with her boyfriend Bobby (Derek Luke) who could be the sweetest
boyfriend in the history of movie boyfriends. And he'd win that contest hands
down, if it wasn't for those meddlin' filmmakers. But more on that later.
We now interrupt this movie for a pointless sex scene. It's pretty vanilla,
really. But April has sex with Bobby while describing what she's going to make
for Thanksgiving dinner.
An aside: As silly as it sounds, I liked this scene. In fact, it's one I've
experienced myself. Except instead of talking about Thanksgiving food, Katie
Holmes talked about things like chocolate syrup and whipped cream. And I was
alone at the time.
Meanwhile, April's family is on the way from the 'burbs to visit her. There's
dad Jim (Oliver Platt).a generally harmless, good natured lug. There's mom Joy
(Patricia Clarkson), afflicted with breast cancer and slowly dying. The other
kids are Timmy (John Gallagher Jr.) as a smart-alecky shutterbug, and Beth
(Alison Pill) as April's bitchy little sister who wants everyone's attention
all the time. And then there's Grandma (Alice Drummond) as the senile matriarch
of the clan.
Meanwhile, Bobby helps April for a bit, but then leaves so he can go do
"that thing." It's left incredibly vague what "that thing"
is, other than the fact that Bobby has to stand next to a phone booth in order
to do it. We're supposed to think that this vague "thing" has
something to do with drugs, because Bobby is black and in New York City.
Basically, they're counting on us to jump to our own racially insensitive
conclusions. That's the only reason for this particular subplot, because
"that thing" is utterly pointless.
But back to April.she's not having a great time, and massacring the meal. But
she's trying. Until her oven breaks down, that is. That's when she has to go
door to door in her apartment building, looking for someone with a spare oven
to help her.as we've all done from time to time. Just the other night, I
desperately needed to find somebody with a spare melon-baller, and not a single
one of my neighbours would help me out. They wouldn't even open the door,
despite the fact that I was quite plainly telling them "I'm not drunk this
time, I just need a f*****g melon baller, goddamn it!" But nothing. The
cops didn't have one either.
In many ways, her neighbours are the best characters in the movie. Especially
Wayne (Sean Hayes), who steals every scene he's in with a hysterically quirky
performance that proves he's more than just Jack in "Will and
Grace".
Meanwhile, the rest of the family talks. A lot. They talk about Joy and her
illness. They talk about what a bitch April is. They talk about how much
they're going to hate her dinner.
And here's the biggest freakin' problem with this movie. Apparently, April has
had some drug problems, and used to date a drug dealer. She also used to
torment her sister and brother, and was a rebellious teenager. But, this is all
pretty vague. These problems are mentioned in passing and never explored in
depth.
So, my first reaction is to say "Big f*****g deal." I don't know a
SINGLE PERSON that wasn't a rebellious teenager that tormented their younger
siblings. Do you? My favourite part of being a teenager was smoking pot,
calling my Dad an a**hole, and making life hell for the younger kids. Then
again, I was a long-haired, skinny Ozzy fan who didn't date a whole lot, so
it's all I had going for me, quite frankly.
If he'd given us just one single, concrete reason why April was such a bad kid,
I'd buy the whole movie hook, line, and sinker. But he doesn't.and I just wind
up resenting the lot of them.even Joy becomes a barely sympathetic
character.
Now, it's not all bad. There are some hysterical scenes in this, many of them
involving Hayes. There are some very touching moments as well. One in
particular involves Platt, but I won't ruin it. And almost every single
performance here is top-notch.
But the half-told story makes the entire thing the equivalent of Stove-Top
stuffing. It's good.but nowhere as good as what a talented chef could make from
scratch.
I TOLD you.it's Bad Metaphor day!!!
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