An On-Line Journal
by Paul Buceta
2003 04 01 - April Fools.

A friend mentioned that I should create a special April fools post.
I think he failed to notice that every day is April Fools on my web site.

In keeping with a good idea,
I'd love to hear any good pranks that you have pulled or been a victim of.

Here's one I pulled off about ten years ago at the bank.

THE LOTTERY

There was a guy that would always pick on the girls in our department.
So much so, that I had decided to get him back on their behalf.

He would always run around getting people to contribute money for every major Lottery as to help improve his chances of winning, and this is where my idea for payback came from.

Our department was about 50 strong back then so he always managed to raise a substantial amount when he would come around. I decided to get everyone in on my plan before he came by for cash.

After raising about $500.00 he was off to buy the tickets from a local vendor.
Because the lottery was for $19,000,000, we had a good excuse to request the tickets be kept in the vault overnight to ensure their safety.

The draw was held on a Wednesday night and our tickets checked the next morning.

Thursday morning I stopped by the same vendor that sold him the tickets the day before and bought one WITH the winning numbers on it. (Since the draw was the night before, I already knew what the numbers were).

Once in the bank, we opened the vault and I discretely slipped my ticket into the pile with the other tickets. As predicted, he came rushing over to grab the tickets to review the numbers.
You have to understand that everyone (about 30 people) where in on the prank and where all doing a stupendous job of hiding their amusement.

As he went through the numbers you could tell when he reached "the winning ticket". All of a sudden his demeanor changed. He had his back to me so I couldn't see his face but I saw his back stiffen and I could sense the little hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
He kept looking back and forth between the ticket and the newspaper.

Here's were it starts to get good.

He nonchalantly walks over to me with the newspaper and "the ticket" and says in a very hush hush manner, "We fuckin' won!"
I asked him what we won?
He replied, "The whole fucking thing!
Me, "What - ten bucks?" (This being the usual amount we would win).
"No, the whole fuckin' thing! $19,000,000.00"

At this point people were starting to come over laughing because he was raising his voice.

At first, I thought everyone ended the joke prematurely but it only served to get better.
You see HE was under the impression that no one believed him and that they thought he was kidding. (Remember the boy who cried wolf?).
So the more we laughed, the more he would yell!

I managed to ask him, with tears in my eyes, what he wanted us all to do now?
He answered, really loudly as so everyone would hear, "Lets go to the lotto office and get our fuckin' Cheque!"

At this point no one was standing - we were all on the ground rolling in hysterics.

I could barely breath when I told him to check the date on the ticket.
At first he didn't comprehend what was wrong with it.
But boy, oh boy, could you ever tell when it finally hit him.
All the color ran from his face as he muttered, to no one in particular, "You fuckers", followed by, "I gotta go". And with that he was gone.

He ran off, (with the ticket) to get a coffee.

He came back about 45 minutes later to a thunderous applause.

Even a senior VP of the bank had heard of my glorious triumph and came down from the towers to our department to personally congratulate him on his win, to which my friend replied, " I think I'll be sticking around here for a bit longer if it's all the same to you".

It would only have been funnier if he had wet himself.

To this day, he has not repaid the debt, but he promises to.

"Keep it", I say.
What are friends for?


(The watch is still not working)