An On-Line Journal
by Paul Buceta
2003 04 05 - Wax on wax off - My Ass!

So here I am, it's Friday night and I find myself with nothing to do.
Then I remember I'm supposed to call my friend Mr. Mango about possibly hooking up.

I call him and as soon as he picks up the phone, (I mean before I even say hi) he says, "Good you're home, stay there I'm on my way over" and just as abruptly hangs up.

Things like this make me nervous.
He's always joking about crazy shit like getting a couple of crack whores over to play scrabble with or going downtown to make our own "Bum fighting" videos.
Either way, I know I shouldn't bother to call him back as he'd probably see the call display, know it's me, laugh, and not bother answering knowing it would drive me crazy.
Regardless, I call back, it rings, no answer - I'm pissed off.
(I contemplate hopping in my car and making a run for it before he arrives but then again, I love a good game of scrabble!)

It's now one hour later and my doorbell rings.
I think to myself, screw him, let him stand out there for an hour to see how he likes it - But too late, he's at my front window waving at me from behind a huge shopping bag.
OK Mr. Mango, You've got my attention.

He thought, it would be fun to stay in on a Friday night and play video games. He actually went out and bought a brand new X Box with about five games to go with it, (This cost him about $500.00).

I don't generally like video games. Only because I get addicted to things very easily and I just don't need another vice in my life. Half reluctantly, I agree to play and we load up Mortal Combat.
Neither of us has ever played this thing before and it shows.

Let me briefly explain the game; You chose which martial artist you want to be, and then you fight your opponent - Pretty simple.

Mr. Mango chooses to be a female combatant that shares a remarkable likeness to my actress friend. I'm not picky, I choose a guy that looks too pretty to be dangerous. In no time at all, Mr. Mango discovers a move where his fighter sticks me in both legs with knives. What does he do then? He runs away for the rest of the fight until I bleed to death and loose.
He did this for about 45 minutes. The whole time both of us had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard.

I finally figured out a way to get out of the 'stick and run' strategy.
I chose a fitghter that looked like David Hasselhoff and used The Crane style.
For those of you unfamiliar with The Crane style, rent Karate Kid staring the king of chooch - Ralph Macchio.



While the Crane style helped me to escape from certain death it only served to prolong the beating.
I should have known, putting Hasselhoff and Macchio together.