An On-Line Journal
by Paul Buceta
2004 02 17 - Bleak Outlook

I haven't been my prolific self lately.
I blame this on my mind continuously wandering to what the future holds for me.
Will I be successful?
Is this the beginning of a long string of bad luck?
This is unfamiliar territory for me.

It's not only my writing that's been affected by my upcoming unemployment either.
I haven't gone to the gym in so long now that I've put on about ten pounds.
God - I'm pathetic.

On the bright side, I have a few things lined up for March that I'm hoping will help with the bills.
But then again, who knows how that will pan out. (Did you see what I did there? I made the direction of my line of thought reflect it's negative undertone while describing positive things - Yesssiree folks, I'm screaming for help)

While people have been generous with the PayPal donations, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, it has not been enough for me to consider maintaining my site full time.

But don't panic, I love my journal too much to let it just disappear into obscurity. Besides, since I don't see myself being able to afford professional psychiatric counselling, I might just have to post all of my most intimate thoughts and experiences here and depend on all of your input to comfort me.
Now THAT's a scary thought.

*** I just did a quick check and realized that my journal is just shy of its' one year anniversary.
To be honest it feels like so much more than just one year's worth of entries.

Lets sum things up. In the last year I've;
Been shunned by Turtles,
Photographed for Penthouse,
Got myself a Playboy Playmate girlfriend,
Got to shoot Masuimi Max,
Got free hats from Gus T. Wiliker,
Met the super sexy Hochtaler girl,
Met Dean Cain,
Bought a new house,
Bought a Jaguar,
Been a photographer for Fashion Television,
Got to meet Ron Jeremy,
Appeared on VH1 and Ripley's Believe It Or Not,
Been publicly dissed by William Shatner,
Met all kinds of celebrities at a Film Festival,
And got my image on women's panties!

I guess I don't have too much to complain about... except for the whole Shatner thing.